Mother’s Day is one of those holidays that brings up mixed emotions for most women. We remember and honour (or curse) our Mother if she is gone and celebrate her is she is here; we examine our own successes and failures as a mother and we look ahead to being a Grandmother, able to help (or hinder) the efforts of the mother of said grandchild, be she daughter or daughter in law!
This is not just a female holiday – it is said that Son’s revere their Mother, or blame them for every wrong in life. I hope that my relationship with my son will have a balance of both!
It is truly amazing how much influence a Mother, whether good or bad, has in our lives.
My mother had issues. I still loved her – but never, ever, understood her. Even as she was dying, over thirty years ago, we still couldn’t communicate. Our points of reference had almost no convergence. There was one love that we shared, the love of working with our hands to create and this was important and grew more important as time passed. It allowed some avenue of communication. We loved hand work and beautiful fibres. Something that my daughter and I share as well.
I parented by being the opposite of my mother. By asking what she would and then doing the opposite. I made different mistakes – is there ever a life without mistakes? But I did OK, so I guess we communicated better than I thought. We never had the storybook mother/daughter relationship, best friends and confidants, but I have strived to create something close to that with my daughter.
And I have, I think. Beth and I have a solid loving relationship with boundaries and understanding and support and everything I wanted from my mother. Thank-you Mom for showing me how not to be, I am so sorry that we couldn’t have what we should have had! Perhaps next time around when the wheels of our lives converge again, things will be different.
Have a wonderful Mothers Day!
Lynette
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